A Crush?

Dear Jack,
Ok so I finally got to figure out what was wrong with Mo and me. Well not really... in all actuality we are now getting along swimmingly. Pretty much they invited me to drink and stay the night with them. It was wonderful. However there are a few questions about Andrew that have now surfaced in my mind. First he did not flirt with the girls. I could write this off that he has a girlfriend.. who is 16. He then requested to be between Mo and I in spooning on the mattresses. I didn’t mind, however was unsure how to act around him with this. He is damn attractive which really doesn’t help. Along with the fact that he is highly flamboyant, I am not sure if I can take that he is completely straight. During the night he cuddled on me. That made me feel very nice, but I didn’t want to read into it. He also refuses to refer to his girlfriend as Kara. Tonight he also made a comment about cumming during sex, and how one should pull out and come on the back... and how he couldn’t just lay in that. He’d want to clean up. Well that’s not a common straight thing to do... it is a common practice in gay sex though. He has a few other slip ups too. He wants me to join him at a tanning bed, and wants to redecorate my room. I know he is straight, and that is how I am going to think of him. I hope that he doesn’t have trouble with others. He’s a cool dude and a good friend, so of course, to quote Mo, I “worry”, as is natural. God protect him from ridicule.

One thing I must note, Dani, Daniel, Andrew and I have been spending a lot of time together. It has been pretty cool. Daniel and Andrew even stayed the night in my room last night... well on the futon. We also threw a party for Andrew the other day... for his birthday. It was pretty sweet. I took care of him while they got the stuff needed. We talked for a while.

So I should also mention Justin. He’s a freshman who is gay. He says he’s out. He’s not completely my type, but I’m not sure I’m just making excuses to save myself for Chris. I am such a fuckwit. I wish I knew what to do, who to pursue, or if anything is workable. Justin seems to be getting me pretty badly. He sent me a love letter today and I am not sure what I think. I mean I’d love to give it a swing, but I’m scared to. I mean it would be great, to have someone who cared about me romantically. WOW I don’t know how I’d act about that. But It does interest me. I also think that it might be helpful in discerning Andrew. Although I don’t want to have Andrew be the reason behind it. I wish I would just not think that about him. OK.. making a vow.. he’s straight.. leave it at that.

I am helping with the Music Department room in the Multicultural Student Union haunted house. Daniel, Dani, and Andrew are in the room with me. It is nice to spend so much time with them. Daniel and Andrew are proving to be pretty cool friends. They always seem to want to hang out, and that means a lot to me. It is a real confidence booster when you know people want to hang out with you. I know I enjoy their friendships greatly. I hope I can continue to be a good friend. And who knows? Maybe I will pursue Justin, Chris.