Showing posts with label Calling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Calling. Show all posts

23 July 2007

Renewed

Dear Jack,

It has been a while. Perhaps I should renew this discipline.

I am a different man than I was when I started this journal, and much has changed even since my last post. I feel older. I am happier and more secure in who I am. I want to share this part of me now. I want to paint a picture of who I am, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally NOW.

I work for EMM now. We're still in Astoria. We are active in several social groups and at St. Bart's as well as in the Stonewall Chorale.

Recently I have begun the process of discernment at St. Bart's. I hope this new start will go well. I find myself from time to time upset with the way things were handled in my last discernment process. I wobble between angry and confused, comforted only in that everyone I know seems confused about the "whys" and "reasons" that led to me leaving the process in Atlanta. It has been several years since then. It is time for a fresh start.

01 March 2006

Disolving Diocesan Bonds

Dear Jack,

Well it looks like it is nearing the time where it will be necessary for me to disolve my bonds to the Diocese of Atlanta. It looks like the process is at an end with the possible chance that I may be allowed to return to Atlanta for further discernment. Since I cannot go to Atlanta, I will probably be let go from the process and allowed to pursue it up here, where I can start from scratch in the discernment process.

It seems like a pitty that a professor or two and some caniving students (now priests) could lead me to such reversal in my process. Ironically, I feel glad to start over up here, and look forward to the process--not so much to see if I feel called but to re-validate a calling I have felt all along.

It is Ash Wednesday, and now begins Lent. My prayers are to find some way to accept he situation without any bitterness towards those that prompted it. Indeed not the Bishop, for I hold nothing against him except a dormancy in communication--he is making what he can out of a situation that has been handed to him--more the students and professors involved, who I hope had no idea of the consequences to me.

This is no end, this is only the beginning of a new chapter. And I still have high hopes.

04 January 2006

Starting Over

Dear Jack,

A new year has begun. I think back to this time last year, and how I had just made contact with Michael online. I think back to how I was down in Georgia relaxing with my family, guest singing with the Church choir, in between semesters at General. Little did I know at this time of how David Barton would try to rip me off with my membership, nor that my Student Financial Aid would be cut because of a private gift donated to me by an anonymous benefactor; nor that in six months I would be leaving seminary and having to find a life. The biggest surprise, and best surprise is finding Michael and now nearing a one-year anniversary with him. I can't say that things are going too badly at all. I may even be joining a choir at St. Bart's on Park Ave. Life is good.

16 September 2005

It's Gonna Work Out

Dear Jack,

Well, Here I am at work...waiting for another Batch List to imput into the computer, yet having none here. Work is fairly easy, and I enjoy it. I find it interresting to see how many people are giving to the Katrina effort through the Episcopal Church.

To update everyone, I've decided to take some time off from my calling and work on establishing myself as an adult--aka work on my relationship (it's great), get a job (got one), and and apartment (working on it). Things are beginning to work out. Ideally I'll have an apartment soon with my Love. I can't wait.

Today it's sort of rainy outside, and that coupled with not having anything to do, makes me sort of bored.

22 July 2005

Time Off

Dear Jack,

Well it looks like I will be taking a year off from school. If all goes well, I will be getting a job at NYU and an apartment in Brooklyn. Ideally the apartment would be with Michael. I may also have Dean as a roommate which would be coolbeans.

With regards to the reasoning behind it--well it's a complicated thing, there are reasons I don't understand--but hey it's life. In the end I think a year off will be a good Sabbatical from school--I've been going non-stop since Kindergarten. It will be nice to not have to worry about homework and reading assignments.

Other than that, there's not much more going on--as if that wasn't enough. I am still  in CPE at Bellevue and having a good time with that. I enjoy being a chaplain.

27 February 2005

TV Series

Dear Jack,
Well I've not written in a while. I've had some distractions I guess. They were all good of course. No complaints there. Life is good all around. I am having a wonderful personal life, and wonderful classes, and feel close to God... so much joy.

So the title of this posting is TV Series. Now I could discuss how I have fallen for late night Disney (yes I know it's pathetic). Specifically I have fallen for Lilo & Stitch. One would think I am a little kid and not 23. I am fascinated by Pleakley and love the moral value that Lilo tends to learn. Ohana (SP?) means no one will be left behind--family. It is a good thing.

But that is not why this is called TV Series. See I was out on a date...at Cafeteria. I was looking at my menu, and all of a sudden I heard "CHAP!!!! CHAP CHAP CHAP!" -- from my date. My menu which had been over the candle, had caught fire. It was pretty embarrassing...something only that would happen on a tv sitcom...or my life.

Later I was talking with a friend who mentioned some romantic stuff going on in his life. He described it as being in a TV sitcom.

Even later that night (1 Am at least) I was called to help another friend, Jason. He had gone out on a date with a guy he was sweet on. Well said guy got drunk and was vomiting. I came over to help with the vomiting "date" and to help my friend relax. Two other friends showed up and we ended up heading to a bar. When he came back the said date was stuck in his bed sleeping. LOL. Upon my arrival home, I realized I had lost my money clip (having ridden in a taxi). It was all again like a tv series.

Life otherwise is great...and I can't complain. I've ben liking my recent dates too. So that makes life greater. I am just a joyous person.

OH I am going to be working at Belevue this summer. It will be a great experience as a chaplain. I can't wait. It is all good.

03 February 2005

The Bishop

Dear Jack,

Well the Bishop is in town for the Board of Trustees meeting. I hope to meet with him and talk about a few personal things while he's here. I need his advice about the direction my life is heading.

Tonight the Diocese postulants here are going with him to get drinks. It should be a fun time.

05 August 2003

Calling of Jeffrey

Dear Jack,

I woke up and had class as usual. I checked my email and found that there was some complications with Robinson and his election to bishop. He is accused of touching a man inappropriately. There is a full inquiry going on about this. I am interested to see what it's all about. It is a shame I must learn things a day later though.

After a quick lunch (pizza), we got on a bus to head for Stratford-upon-Avon. The bus trip wasn't too bad, as it was air-conditioned, and I had a seat to myself. Betsy sat in front of me. I am not sure why, but she comforts me with her presence. It is sort of a strange thing to have between friends. In Stratford, we took a bus tour around the basic town. We stopped at Holy Trinity Church and went inside to see where Shakespeare was buried. The church building was beautiful. We then went to his wife's house... the Anne Hathaway Cottage. It was out in a hamlet NW of Stratford. We took a walking tour through the home with a few stops at a guide inside. I learned a few things such as the origin of "a square meal", "window", and "upper crust". A square meal comes from a type of plate that was used in the Elizabethan era which was square with a carved out bowl area. The people would put a stew in it, eat it, sop up the juices with bread, lick it clean, and then set it back in the cupboard. To do this meant you had a square meal, as the plate was square. Window comes from Wind Hole where the smoke would go out through the walls. Upper Crust comes from the idea that when bread was baked, the lower half usually was burnt. Thus a roll would be cut in half, and the "better off" or more important people were given the upper crust... thus where that term came from.

After the Hathaway house, we were dropped off in the town center. We took a group photo. Then everyone dispersed. I figured I'd go to the Shakespeare birthplace. William Br., who got left behind again, came with me. The exhibit wasn't all that interesting, after seeing similar exhibits before. The house itself was very well preserved. Many of the rooms had tapestries on the walls. After touring the house, William and I went to the park by the river to eat our sack dinners. I had a rather bad tasting egg sandwich. I think it would have been better with salt and refrigeration. We then sat by two large swans sunning themselves. These swans were around three feet tall, if not bigger. We told stories to each other from different books we had read. That is something I cherish about the friendship of William. Very few others sit and just tell stories, and discuss literature. At around 7 we found the rest of the PC crew and got our tickets for the Shakespearean play we were going to see... Richard III. The theatre was not impressive. I was hoping for a Globe-styled theatre. The play was interesting for the most part. I though that some of the acting was a bit cheesy, including the death scene of Richard III where he squirms like a cockroach recently squirted with Raid. Margaret, the former queen, also was given some cheesy movements. Specifically she sits on her haunches and rocks back and forth taunting the other queens. It looked like a scary scene from a 70's porno... although I must admit that this idea comes from speculation, as I have never really seen a 70's porno. But if there are any surviving... Margaret was surely in them.

We rode the bus back around 10:45 that night. Jeffrey G. sat next to me on the way back. I had asked him to tell me about his calling. I find it interesting to see how different callings are so similar. He then asked me to share mine, which I did. Afterwards we chatted about PC and how are callings have brought us there. I think all was good. One thing that I must note is that he has a very distinct way of talking... uses "just", "you know", "like" and talks a lot about "the Lord". The first two are noteworthy as they were in replace of ums I guess. He said stuff similar too, "Things are like, just awesome for me, you know?" The second note regarding the Lord was that he said it often as a replacement for God the Father and Jesus Christ. Thus things became ambiguous for me as to what he really was saying. I think it is something interesting how different back-grounded people describe the same Being who is known to both by those differing titles.