Delays

Dear Jack,

It is a Friday, and I am fighting a migraine headache. I am home and medicated, but my neck and forehead still are tensed and pained.

There are some things of little note that I want to share.

The first is that we have a new bed, and I have been getting better sleep than I have in a long time. I know this is true because I am constantly dreaming. Mind you I have none that really stand out...as in I cannot remember any of the dreams beyond my initial waking up. I am not sleeping all the way through the night though. I wake up 3 times or so, usually in the middle of a dream.

There is an important notification that I am expecting, and today I received an email saying that the notification would not be given for another 2 weeks. At least I was told it would be another 2 weeks.

Trouble Sleeping

Dear Jack,

I am having trouble sleeping. I had a migraine headache all day today. It was awful, but luckily the first and only major one this year (2009). If I only get one a quarter, then so be it.

There is not much going on, really. Well there is a possible career change coming up... and I hope it goes well. If it does, you'll know because I'll publish it on here. Not that my current job is awful, but the atmosphere and compensation are insulting. I have been there exactly 1 year. Not much has changed other than all the people I started with are now gone, and I have pretty much absorbed most of their work, and NONE - ZERO - ZILCH of the pay. I make what I started making. And trying to discuss the options with my boss is difficult. I prefer not to at this point. All I can say, is that the job that is interested in me, my boss cannot match in compensation.

I'll learn soon what the results are. I'm going to try to get some more rest now. The meds stop me from being able to sleep well, and if I don' take them, I don't sleep at all because of the pain.

Health System

Dear Jack,

I am on day 5 of a lingering migraine headache. I have no insurance yet, as it will not be active till December, and so I sit in pain. I headed to the clinic down the street where I've been able to get looked at fairly cheap, despite no insurance, but today it is not going to happen. They are booked till next week with insurance paying patients, and the lobby is full of people who probably are in the same boat as me or worse.

I am hopeful that President Obama will be able to effectually fix the health care problem and provide us with a plan that allows all citizens with basic health coverage, and all children, regardless of immigration status, coverage. I can somewhat understand people's fears that this will be similar to socialism, but I have to point to the non-socialist countries in Europe where there is health care.

Children, at least, who have no ability to choose their immigration status, their financial status, or get their own health insurance, should be taken care of PERIOD.

Samhain Approaches

Dear Jack,

Today I have a migraine. I hate migraines. The light hurts, my eyes don't focus right, and the sound outside hurts. I eagerly await insurance so I can get more medication. This is a point of contention for me at work. I've been working since March, and still do not have insurance. The reason is two-fold: part process, and part management. I was supposed to be made non-contract in June, but it took until September. Policy then stipulates that I need to be employed non-contract for three months before I am to be eligible for insurance. This means December, and my guess it will be closer to January.

On some days it disgusts me, and on other days I just ignore it. It has caused me to not have faith in my employer, as every time I have a migraine hit, my whole body realizes how I need insurance. It is disgusting me today.

Friday is Halloween, and we'll probably join some friends for the parade, and then maybe a party in Brooklyn. I will be going as a generic Hogwarts professor. Mike will probably be a cop again. I hope it is fun.

Blog Feeds

Dear Jack,

Thanks to Joe Said So, I have learned some cool things about Facebook and how it will interact with my blog. I am really happy about it. The new way things are set up allows for my posts to appear in Facebook, and only to friends, and of that only friends who I choose to share it with. Thus if a friends sees this note, they know they are being shared with.

I have a migraine today, and had to miss church. The meds are kicking in, thus why I'm online right now. Mike and I are doing dinner with Dirk and his mother. Tomorrow is the PFLAG dinner, and it does not appear that I'll be going. I'm not sure if I'm glad or sad.

Yesterday Mike and I did some cleaning. I did dishes and cleaned the kitchen while Mike worked on the dining table. I feel like I got more done than he did, as he reads everything he picks up, and I don't have to read dishes other than to see they are clean and dry. I want to get things clean enough to have some guests over for a small fall tea. Not sure if it will be before or after Thanksgiving...we'll see.

Later last night we went to John's for an Arbonne party. There were not a lot of people there, unfortunately. The product seems good, but a little pricey for me. I wish J4hn luck as he tries to add that income to his life.

I also have found my old journal from my trip to Germany. I have decided to transcribe it into my blog and allow it to be preserved digitally as well as in its original form. Plus, reviewing it, I can add notes or links to obscure references, thus keeping the original meaning of the journal itself.

I hope I can find my Russian Journal too, as I would like to add that too. I need to finds some stuff from 2002 also. That way I can have some blogs that span 10 years. For some reason it seems important to me. I'm not quite sure why. In 2006 and 2007 I didn't do much blogging, and I feel like the years and the often mundane events will be forgotten. Additionally, a lot of what happened in those two years is significant, but never documented.

My goal is to keep up this journaling, and to add stuff from the past as I am able to find it.

Headache

Dear Jack,

The weekend was pretty nice. We went to Jason and Paul's house for a party on Saturday evening. We had a lot of fun, and got to hang out with some really nice people.

This morning I woke up with a migraine...well to be honest I went to bed with one. It is no fair, as I have not had any caffeine or alcohol. I had a very hard time sleeping, and my neck and back were all tensed up. I skipped church as a result, which is sort of sad because this was the first Sunday we'd meet the rector, as she's been on vacation.

Nostalgic Thoughts

Dear Jack,

I was home sick today with my migraine and spent 80 percent of the day in bed with a cool cloth over my head hoping that no one honked their horns out on the street.

I'm in a nostalgic mood. It always happens as I get over a migraine headache. I have often wondered if there is some connection between the two, but have no reason to connect them outside of circumstantial occurrence.

The points in time that preoccupy my mind are all in my childhood. In my dreams as I lay there seeking solace I see myself at our home in Ashtabula. I am floating through the house almost, looking intricately at everything as I remember it. At one window in the living room, I recall the number of Christmas trees I remember. It surprises me how much and how long ago I do remember. We moved to Georgia in January of 1988. I can distinctly remember 3 and possibly 4 other trees in that place...remember decorating them, laying under them with Thomas our cat, or near the fake fireplace with Zach, our Doberman. That puts some of my earliest memories at 3 or younger I guess. I wonder if that's normal.

My thoughts turn to the cabinet we had our TV on, and I recall the fish tank and all the fish, one a shark, that were in it. I remember be fascinated with the fish. Their tank was in a sort of carpet-covered shelf my dad built. When we moved to Georgia, the shelf went on my dresser and also housed a fish tank.

I remember how the couches came together at an angle, and Dad's had an orange knit blanket that used to hang over the back. I'd pretend it was my tent. I remember sitting on the top of the couch shaking my head back-and-forth. I do not know why, but I used to, and very occasionally, will rock my head back and forth in a "no" motion. It would relax me. I remember I used to go to bed doing that. When we'd ride in the car, I would do it and sing. My Grandma Hohne (Day then), never liked me doing that. I remember the first time Michael saw me doing it, and I was embarrassed.

I remember our kitchen, and how we had a table there, but we rarely used it. I always wanted to have a fancy dinner on it, but we couldn't use it because it was too cluttered or broken or something. But there is one time I vaguely remember using it... possibly making cinnamon apples with my Mom. That memory is flooded with golden light outside and the feeling of fall.

I don't know if the apples came from our tree outside or not, I think so. I remember how one branch was low and I could reach it. I was young for going outside by myself. I must have done it a lot. I don't want to suggest my parents didn't watch me, but damn, I sure feel like I was a little young to be out back or in the neighbor's yard.

Anyways, that's all for memories for now.

Two Helpings

Dear Jack,

Today Michael and I got two helpings of church. We sing with the St. Bart's Singers at the early 9 AM service. The sermon was sort of boring, a good message, but poorly delivered. The preacher talked about people realizing that they have gifts given at birth and given by the Spirit and that they are true gifts, not earned or worked for. One point made was that today's society has trouble understanding gifts. That we take our learned skills and think that a gift must be equally learned or earned.

After that service we went to the second service because Michael liked the music we heard that choir practicing for that service. Although I was a bit tired, and a little hungry, I agreed to stay. In a way it was good, as not being a leader in music, I find it easier to worship privately. We then took the tour of St. Bart's given to guests each Sunday. It was fairly interesting.

Last night we saw "The New World" staring Colin Farrell, but it wasn't that good.

Other than that, I have a mild migraine headache, but I am functioning.

Can't Sleep

Dear Jack

It is 5 AM on Tuesday 23 of November and I can't sleep. Over the weekend and yesterday I had some migraines. I am blaming them on Dad and the stress I'm under with him.

Friday I went to dinner with Matthew G., Stephen S., and Rob S. at a horrid pizza hole called Hot Spot. I was less than impressed. Then Matthew and I went to see what was playing at the local cinemas, but neither went to watch a movie. I spent the night in my room relaxing.

On Saturday I met Brendan for the first time. We were intending on going ice skating. Unfortunately it was raining pretty heavily and around 40 degrees, so it was not a good idea. Instead we met up for coffee at the Big Cup. We talked for a good long time about all kinds of stuff. I will say he is a cute guy with nice blue eyes. He has become more and more intriguing, as I've learned of his many interests which include hockey, soccer, stained glass, crocheting, Jagermeister, languages (he knows several), microbiology, and vocal performance. I feel so dumb around him LOL. On top of it all he is a very sensitive and manly guy, despite the cat ears winter hat he wore. (I thought it was cute, he thought it was gay) LOL.

After meeting Brendan, I went with Shai and Shalom (that's SHA-lom) to a thing called Date Bait. I did not expect to get much out of it, and guess what, I didn't. Not a single damned match. Shai got one, and Shalom took tons. Then after some deliberation we went to Daioh for sushi. After that I met up with Andrew, Marcus, Adam, and Andrew's friend Gregg. We went to a place called Boy's Room. It was a crappy place...extremely extremely hot and humid inside, and crowded. I recognized a guy named Andres from Date Bait there. There were strippers doing pole dances on the bars... very sketch. We did not stay long, despite we paid $15 each to get in. There is no website for it...proves it's crud.

The next place we went to was called Spalsh. It was a little bit more ritzy, but still was pretty much the same thing as Boy's Room... just a cleaner setting, cooler setting, and a larger venue. I will say that I did not completely dislike the models strutting there stuff, I am not sure I would want to go back to it. Maybe I'd go with guests to "shock" them into the gay life of NYC. But that would be about it. I left and came home around 1 AM. I talked online with Josh and Brendan.

The next day, Sunday, migraine two hit. BLARG!!! I had gotten up and showered for church, and wham. It was gone by 6 that night. At 10 I decided to go to Shalom's birthday party. I wasn't sure I was going to go because of how I felt, but since I had said I was going, I figured I should. On my way there, I ran into Andrew and Gregg... small gay world so to speak. Shalom held his party at Avalon. Avalon is an old church that was converted into a club in the seventies or something like that, called Limelight. I heard some tale that the original owner chopped up visitors, but it could just be an urban legend. Well my trip to Avalon was unique. In the main dance area (the former Nave), we looked into a secluded, guarded area, and saw Madonna. The Madonna. I would have to say this is my first big-time celebrity to see in person. I know there are probably tons of people who would have flipped out, but I was like "eh, who cares." LOL. Avalon was huge, and filled with too many people. I found myself loafing around Marcus and Andrew, not bad, but I still felt like a loafer. I went home around 1:45 and chatted with Brendan and Josh online (again).

Enter Migraine Three. Having not drank anything, you would think I would not wake up with a headache...ah but that is where you'd be wrong. This was the worst of the three, and hopefully the last of the three. Since it is nearly 5:30 now, and I feel fine, I assume as much.

Having done nothing all day, not eat, not drink, not sleep, not defecate... I joined Rick T. for dinner around 7:30 PM. I ate some soup and then met up with Shai, Shalom and Jason around 9. Then I felt more hungry and had a petite Sirloin at Uno. Then we went to Polar Express (which I had already seen). Then I came back home and, you guessed it, talked with Josh and Brendan online... this time you can add Shai, and Jason too. Brendan was crocheting stockings for Christmas. So domesticated, yet so manly. Josh is coming in tomorrow from New Hampshire which also adds to my light mood.

In addition to this, I am feeling good emotionally... like happy happy... I hope it lasts.

Tomorrow I should also begin moving to my new room... so who knows what will happen with the internet until I get it figured out with Time Warner or Verizon. I hope to be in full operation by the end of the week...who knows for sure though.

It is now nearly 6AM, and I still can't sleep... I get up in an hour LOL to shower before Morning Prayer.

Oh, in addition to all the migraines and partying and paper writing, I read The DaVinci Code. I will be posting on that later.

Going Well

Dear Jack,

Despite a migraine, things are going well. I've met some wonderful people online and in person, and have begin the fostering of what I hope to be good friendships. One's of interest are Will, Joe, Jason, Brendan, and Gene. There is also a wonderful cool crew from one of the plethora of Starbucks. They are all extremely friendly and nice, and I hope to get to know them all better too.

I've been watching the debates, and must say they seem like a bunch of rhetoric between two very staunch sides. I know I've not changed my opinion. I've already voted, and I encourage people to vote their conscience. In my understanding I see that as Democrat... but I know that's not everyone.

Tomorrow looks like a full day, and my first day at the gym. Wish me luck. Woot David Barton (the owner of the Gymn).

Lamb is Tasty

Dear Jack,

Ok so today I woke up with a migraine headache. I took meds and felt better by noonish for choir, although I still felt groggy. I came back to my room after eating lunch alone... I hate eating lunch alone... I almost skipped it, but had already paid my money. I worked in the SCIS office today and overheard the Board of Trustees Meeting for Academic Affairs. It was interesting, 'cept that diversity for them means "bringing black people" to PC. Even funnier was, 'how many black people does Furman have?" They never mentioned women or gays or Buddhists. They did mention the three Chinese restaurants in Clinton... Thus they believe we have a small "china town" somewhere in Laurens. And they also mentioned Freddy as the token Latino.

After work I ate dinner with Caleb and James and a random girl that I know but do not remember her name. After dinner Teska came up for a chat. I told him how I edited my journal pre-posting to protect "innocent' friends of ours. He found it interesting. Justin and I have been chatting online, and I hope he comes by.

Oh I have to mention the double date from the other night. Dani and Teska (now dating... soooo sweet) and Justin and I went to G-Vegas to see Matrix Revolutions. I enjoyed it, but some of the others in the crew didn't. I thought it was soooo sweet that the "men" cried... Especially my sweetie. He cried when Trinity died. Justin is so sweet and sensitive. Oh and Teska cried too... Dani might have, but she covered her face in fear from the rest of the movie. She's such a chicken... Plus it invokes arms to go around her... Teska's arms of course. Before that we ate at Ruby Tuesdays, and that was good... I love Steak. It may be my favorite food. It may be. But then again I love my Thai food... And Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian... Hell I like all foods... 'cept for deep fried stuff. That gets old.

I might as well list the foods I loath.

I loath Ham, Sweet Potatoes, Beets, Yams, non-ruby red Grapefruit, Parsnips, I'm not big on pork in general, but I do eat sausage and bacon... But prefer non-pork on both. I may like to cook fancy, but my favorite food is still beans and franks with macaroni and Cheese.

I love Beef. BEEF IS GOOD. So is Turkey, and chicken, and goose, duck, lamb, I LOVE LAMB. LAMB IS DA BOMB. Well that's all for today. Talk to you later Jack.

Conquering the Castle

Dear Jack,

I woke up with a migraine today. I thought I was going to die. I took my Darvoset around 7:30 and around 11ish it finally felt like it was working. I woke up, went for a shower, went to lunch (Lasagna with beef filling), and am now typing out the journal. I will probably do very little today, maybe some laundry. I know I am going to try and stay away from caffeine for a few days too--as caffeine can make migraines more prevalent. I've been slacking in that area for a while.

Last night was probably one of the most relaxing nights in my life. Betsy Martin, Grace Mitchell, and I went to the gay bar. It was called Castle Tavern. We walked in and people stared at us as if asking, "do these stupid Americans realize where they have just entered?" We went up to the bar tender who wore an American flag on his shirt. We ordered our drinks and sat down. The bartender was more friendly with us than the others have been at the so called straight bars. This may have just been a fluke though. I had a double Archers with lemonade (That's Peach Schnapps). We chatted for a while. I took in the atmosphere. There were fans on the walls which rotated, plants everywhere, and pictures of men's bottoms. Thus there was a sense of sophistication that was not seen in other bars, yet a tinge of the risque. It was not very crowded. The ages of the men and women varied. I felt much more relaxed than I have ever before in my life. We chatted for a while, and then decided to try the other bar out. Before leaving we went up to the bartender to ask where his tip jar was. This allowed us to get into a conversation with several people there about whether or not it is necessary or appropriate to tip at bars in the UK. The Brits said no, but we ended up leaving the bartender a £.

We entered the second bar, The Jolly Farmers. It wasn't as nice as the other one. There was just about as many people though. I had a Tia Maria and Coke. We stayed for a bit, and then decided to head home. The girls are emphatic that they want to go back to the Castle again. I do too. I felt comfortable enough that I may even venture there by myself... who knows. I'm still a chicken. We stopped by a Kebab stand on the way back to college where we all ordered chips.

Back at my room, I read a little for class and went to sleep, not knowing I'd wake up with a damned migraine.