Ghost Smells

Dear Jack,

I know I am on Robitussin fighting off a cold, but I'm having some odd experiences that have made me feel like I should write them down. I recently added a Peach Cobbler recipe to my cookbook blog, and as I was writing it out, I started to smell Vanilla and Peaches... very strongly, as if I was actually smelling the Peach Cobbler in the room. The smell was so vivid, yet there is no reason for it.

Similarly, I was reading a friend's blog about Mexican Lasagna. I commented on it because my Trailer Park memory of Mexican Lasagna had tortillas in it as layers, and his had macaroni. Regardless, I started to smell a very strong odor of baked cheese. It is so strong that I smell it now.

Obviously, it has to be something in my head... a olfactory memory... and yet, it is so real smelling. I decided to blog about it anyway, though it may appear that I'm just loosing it. LOL.

Too Much Pride

Dear Jack,

This weekend was Pride in NYC. It was the 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. I organized IntegrityNYC's marching contingency. This meant that I assisted St. Luke in the Fields with the Eucharist on the street, then marshaled the volunteers who held the IntegrityNYC banner.

Our friend Neil came down from Rochester-ways to attend. It has been great having a guest in the house. On Saturday we had some friends over for dinner. It was nothing special, just some pasta, salad, and fruit compote. All in all it was a good night.

Pride Day was busy. I arrived at St. Luke's at 9:15am. The trolley they wanted was unavailable, and instead, a greyhound-like bus pulled up. We were supposed to kick-off at 12:30, but we didn't actually step off till 1:30ish. By 5:30 we were at the end. The weather was BEAUTIFUL. It was probably the best pride march I've been in. Midway on down, we picked up Bishop Gene Robinson who was visiting the Presbyterians at 5th Ave Presbyterian Church.

After the parade, we rushed to St. Luke's for the Evensong and picnic. The sermon was very life-affirming, given by a priest from Long Island. Bishop Andrew St. John and Bishop Gene Robinson were also there.

We had dinner with Mike M. and Demetrius at Cowgirls.

My friend Neil's blog has some good pictures: "Marching With Episcopalians" & "And More...Down Christopher Street"

You'll note the good picture of me and Bishop Robinson that Neil took.

Anyways in all the excitement, I've injured my ankle, and find it troublesome to walk. I even called in sick today as a result, and spent most of the day with my foot propped up and a pad on it.

2009 Resolutions

Dear Jack,

This is my first post for 2009. I have no official resolutions, other than I want to do better at organizing the apartment. Mostly, I want to be able to have some social engagements at the apartment...and by that I mean TEA. Yes, I want to have High Tea at my apartment for friends :-). Thus my goal/resolution for my social life is to have High Tea at least once a month with a few friends. I think it is manageable.

I think another good resolution would be to improve blogging and personal correspondence. I want to also complete a major update to my Family Tree online. I am revising the place names and cleaning up the sources. I was a good deal done when the computer crashed back in Sept, so now it is all sort of started over...well from my last backup.

Blog Feeds

Dear Jack,

Thanks to Joe Said So, I have learned some cool things about Facebook and how it will interact with my blog. I am really happy about it. The new way things are set up allows for my posts to appear in Facebook, and only to friends, and of that only friends who I choose to share it with. Thus if a friends sees this note, they know they are being shared with.

I have a migraine today, and had to miss church. The meds are kicking in, thus why I'm online right now. Mike and I are doing dinner with Dirk and his mother. Tomorrow is the PFLAG dinner, and it does not appear that I'll be going. I'm not sure if I'm glad or sad.

Yesterday Mike and I did some cleaning. I did dishes and cleaned the kitchen while Mike worked on the dining table. I feel like I got more done than he did, as he reads everything he picks up, and I don't have to read dishes other than to see they are clean and dry. I want to get things clean enough to have some guests over for a small fall tea. Not sure if it will be before or after Thanksgiving...we'll see.

Later last night we went to John's for an Arbonne party. There were not a lot of people there, unfortunately. The product seems good, but a little pricey for me. I wish J4hn luck as he tries to add that income to his life.

I also have found my old journal from my trip to Germany. I have decided to transcribe it into my blog and allow it to be preserved digitally as well as in its original form. Plus, reviewing it, I can add notes or links to obscure references, thus keeping the original meaning of the journal itself.

I hope I can find my Russian Journal too, as I would like to add that too. I need to finds some stuff from 2002 also. That way I can have some blogs that span 10 years. For some reason it seems important to me. I'm not quite sure why. In 2006 and 2007 I didn't do much blogging, and I feel like the years and the often mundane events will be forgotten. Additionally, a lot of what happened in those two years is significant, but never documented.

My goal is to keep up this journaling, and to add stuff from the past as I am able to find it.

Millenium Development Goals

Dear Jack,

I have joined a webring that will be blogging about the MDGs today.

The Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) are eight goals agreed to in 2000 by 189 heads of state and government -- including the United States -- from around the world that address the deepest material brokenness in the world today. Poverty the likes of which we just don't see within the United States. Poverty like

*1.2 billion people living on less than $1 a day.

*110 million children who aren't allowed even a full course of primary education
*Half a million women a year dying of complications from childbirth and pregnancy.
*A child under 5 dying every three seconds from preventable, treatable causes
*8,000 people (more than died in the September 11 attacks) dying each day of HIV/AIDS and much, much more.

Here are some links regarding the MDGs I found helpful.

The Millennium Development Goals
What They Are, Why Should Christians Care, What Has the Church Done?
Goal 1 - Feed the Hungry
Goal 2 - Educate All Children
Goal 3 - Empower Women
Goal 4 - Save Children's Lives
Goal 5 - Keep Motherhood Safe
Goal 6 - Heal the Sick
Goal 7 - Care for the Environment
Goal 8 - Work Together to Heal the World

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Renewed

Dear Jack,

It has been a while. Perhaps I should renew this discipline.

I am a different man than I was when I started this journal, and much has changed even since my last post. I feel older. I am happier and more secure in who I am. I want to share this part of me now. I want to paint a picture of who I am, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally NOW.

I work for EMM now. We're still in Astoria. We are active in several social groups and at St. Bart's as well as in the Stonewall Chorale.

Recently I have begun the process of discernment at St. Bart's. I hope this new start will go well. I find myself from time to time upset with the way things were handled in my last discernment process. I wobble between angry and confused, comforted only in that everyone I know seems confused about the "whys" and "reasons" that led to me leaving the process in Atlanta. It has been several years since then. It is time for a fresh start.

FINALLY

Dear Jack,

It has taken forever to finally be able to post on this board. Everytime I have tried to load Blogger, it would not load, and it made me really sad.

Well I'm in NYC still, having a good time working at Belleveue Hospital as a chaplain. I am making a lot of good friends from the program of the other Chaplains and am learning a lot.

Michael and I hang out a lot and it is great--I'm really in love with him. It is nice that we will be spending the rest of our lives together. I thank God daily for this true Blessing.

I miss Joy and Caleb and Kevin a lot--I also miss the internet (I don't have it for the summer--finances suck). My cell is working for those who want to chat. I also have MySpace and Friendster and Facebook profiles.

There is not a lot really going on for me.

I'm worried about my nephew Kristopher as his father has gone to jail and he is stuck in a house with my Uncle who works late nights. Some positive signs are that he has decided to take Karate--seems to be a safe hobby.

Hopefully I'll be able to post more.

End.

Dear Jack

A friend of mine has notified me they can no longer be my friend due to the wishes of their parents. The reason being I am gay and I was finding the person charming. In addition, I am aware that this weblog is viewed by the same family. I am not sure I understand it all. But it is something I am used to, and I can live with that.

I do want to reiterate that my dealings with this friend have been upstanding and rooted in the discussion of God and of music. Among friends in New York City, it is hard to find those who are Christian and willing to accept a gay man's spiritual journey as just that... a spiritual journey. I myself share a different view of Christianity than you do, yet I am more than certain we agree on one thing--Christ came to save sinners.

I am an Episcopalian and it is not a common phrase for us to say "born again" or that we are "saved". Yet I am a former Southern Baptist, and I do know what is meant by those, and am BOTH. I acknowledge Christ as my personal Savior, that he is God, and that he came and died for our sins, and physically rose again from the dead, destroying death, and ascended into heaven. Indeed I believe Christ to reside in my heart, and I pray to God and walk with Christ daily in my journey.

I hold no ill feelings towards anyone in this. I understand your motives, and ask that you pray for me, that God will work God's will in my life. I will continue to thank God for having had the friendship with your son/brother. And I will pray that you will one day God will reveal to you that I am a Christian despite my sexuality.

Until then, feel free to read my journal if you want. It is directed towards all of my friends. It is open for all to read, for I've nothing to hide. I feel that hiding things from people often adds to an idea of scandal. I am not a person of scandals.

To all other readers, walk in love.