Church Sweet Church

Dear Jack,

Well yesterday, Michael and I were welcomed officially to the community at St. Bart's on Park Avenue. This came on a long day where St. Bart's Singers joined the Choiristers and St. Bart's Choir to sing a Missa Brevis by Mozart too. Bob and Dean came also. After the service Bob and one of our choir friends named Michael joined us for lunch. We ate at a mediocre diner on 2nd Ave.

After eating and having a good time talking, Michael and I went with Bob to a Barnes and Noble and hung out there for about two hours. I ended up purchasing an Are You Being Served DVD.

Dean had a friend (also named Michael) come into town. I didn't care for him, as he seemed to want to slut around. He asked me for some justification for his "lifestyle", apparently equating being gay with being a sleazy person. I told him to look at the Bible and see if it addresses Monogamous, Loving, relationships between men. I sort of avoided the answer he was looking for, because there is no way I can or would justify sleeping around as appropriate and condoned lifestyle for anyone, gay or straight. This Michael took Dean to a bathouse and to a private viewing section of a porno store and didn't understand why Dean did not want to do anything there. He did not get that Dean has standards and is not about sleeping around--he doesn't get that there are many other gay men who want to have a Real relationship--not just one-night stands and mindless casual sex with strangers. I'm proud of Dean, although I wouldn't expect any less from him. He has a good heart and a good head on his shoulders. This Michael also further disgusted me when we learned he has a boyfriend to boot. He says he wants to move here, but I hope he does not.

I tend to be a rather tolerant person, especially with regards to other people's misbehavior. I have no respect for infidelity, and a bankrupt stockpile of sympathy for the unfaithful. I do not think that sleeping around is safe, healthy (spiritually, emotionally, physically), or condonable. That being said, I do understand some of the many reasons that cause people to do it. Regardless, when in a relationship with someone one should be faithful--Gay or Straight.

In the end it hurts the movement for Gay Marriage with infidelity. The same is true of heterosexuals who are unfaithful--it is a mockery of marriage too. And indeed those who are the men and women slept with--what do you think you are going to get out of it? If the person could not be faithful with the one, what makes you think they will be faithful with you?

Not all relationships are meant to be. That does not justify infidelity--that justifies fixing or ending the relationship. Infidelity adds to the schism and emotional backlash between the people, and stretches thinly the soul of the one being unfaithful.