Emily C. Visits

Dear Jack,
I am sitting in Justin's room, at Justin's computer. We're waiting for Emily C. to arrive. She is a friend of his from home. I don't know what's going one, but its like we are both clashing with each other right now. It's a little unnerving. He seems very preoccupied and it's makeing me insanely crazy. I want to leave, and I want to hold him all at the same time. I'm not feeling great myself and am being antagnoistic towards him whilst also trying to be flirtious, but I think it's coming off more of the first with a slight touch of "jerk". He's left to go to take something to C'eleste F.. I figured I'd post. It is official that Lisa was murdered, and they are now investigating it. Sort of strange to have someone in the family murdered. I feel strange and upset, but am having trouble expressing how I feel in general. I want to do something. I don't know what. I'm just sick of being stuck here, and I'm sick of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to Justin, and having him seem upset, but really only be playing, but get upset when I play back. I feel confused and at odds with the world. It's as if I've fallen into a hole of mediocre expression.

I am going to be happy when he gets back, and I am going to be build-up. I want to give him energy and then feed off of his as he feeds off of mine. I want to be positive, and I will. That is my goal.