Rent Review

Dear Jack,

Here is my Movie Review for Rent:

Not as good as the play... one gets the jist of the story, but one looses the closer connection to the homeless.

Side note...why do Broadway singers now only whine? They didn't use to. Now it seems like they (mostly the young men) are trying to be poppish whiny singers and that takes away from the beauty of the music. For this movie, Roger has a very complementary voice which does not whine. Very Nice.

It was also good to see the guy from Law and Order in it.

About Time

Dear Jack,

Well I haven't blogged in a long time. So here I go.

I'm still a working at the church center. I still am in a wonderful relationship with Michael. I have a wonderful apartment in Astoria, and things are looking good. I am even getting out of educational debt.

I have so much to be thankful for--it's odd how that works.

Had some manipulative persons not tried to harm me by slandering my name at General, I probably would not be able to be where I am now. When it happened, I was scared, I feared the slander, and I was angry with the people responsible (and if they read this, know I know who you are). Regardless, having done nothing wrong, and having a wonderful bishop with a level head, and the grace and love of Christ, as well as the loving support of Michael, my life is better than it ever has been.

What a few may have used for evil, God has turned into my greatest blessings. I cannot say I have gotten to the point that I could confront these individuals, let alone forgive them and call them a brother or sister in Christ. That will take a lot more time and Spiritual discipline.

What I can do is look at the blessings in my life, and the grad direction in which it is headed. Indeed, God is ever present, and my joy is abounding.

This Advent season, I wait with all Christians for Christ's incarnation in the world--and as I wait I recognize how Christ is very present in my life, and how I could not succeed without his help.

Life is Good. God is Great. Being out of school is Good. Being Gay is Good. Being in a Loving Relationship is Good. Reaching a motivational resolution is priceless.

It's Gonna Work Out

Dear Jack,

Well, Here I am at work...waiting for another Batch List to imput into the computer, yet having none here. Work is fairly easy, and I enjoy it. I find it interresting to see how many people are giving to the Katrina effort through the Episcopal Church.

To update everyone, I've decided to take some time off from my calling and work on establishing myself as an adult--aka work on my relationship (it's great), get a job (got one), and and apartment (working on it). Things are beginning to work out. Ideally I'll have an apartment soon with my Love. I can't wait.

Today it's sort of rainy outside, and that coupled with not having anything to do, makes me sort of bored.

Time Off

Dear Jack,

Well it looks like I will be taking a year off from school. If all goes well, I will be getting a job at NYU and an apartment in Brooklyn. Ideally the apartment would be with Michael. I may also have Dean as a roommate which would be coolbeans.

With regards to the reasoning behind it--well it's a complicated thing, there are reasons I don't understand--but hey it's life. In the end I think a year off will be a good Sabbatical from school--I've been going non-stop since Kindergarten. It will be nice to not have to worry about homework and reading assignments.

Other than that, there's not much more going on--as if that wasn't enough. I am still  in CPE at Bellevue and having a good time with that. I enjoy being a chaplain.

FINALLY

Dear Jack,

It has taken forever to finally be able to post on this board. Everytime I have tried to load Blogger, it would not load, and it made me really sad.

Well I'm in NYC still, having a good time working at Belleveue Hospital as a chaplain. I am making a lot of good friends from the program of the other Chaplains and am learning a lot.

Michael and I hang out a lot and it is great--I'm really in love with him. It is nice that we will be spending the rest of our lives together. I thank God daily for this true Blessing.

I miss Joy and Caleb and Kevin a lot--I also miss the internet (I don't have it for the summer--finances suck). My cell is working for those who want to chat. I also have MySpace and Friendster and Facebook profiles.

There is not a lot really going on for me.

I'm worried about my nephew Kristopher as his father has gone to jail and he is stuck in a house with my Uncle who works late nights. Some positive signs are that he has decided to take Karate--seems to be a safe hobby.

Hopefully I'll be able to post more.

Moving Sucks Lemonheads

Dear Jack,

Today at 1 I was called and told that I am moving at 1:30. I was a bit surprised as I was scheduled to move out this coming Wednesday. They said it may rain and so they had to do it today. So... being wholly unpacked, I began packing. Luckily Marta gave me some boxes before she left. About 2:30 they showed up to start taking things. I was a little flustered by then, having nearly packed my entire apartment in two hours. They took a load to my new room. They came back (about 3:15) and said, "Well we need to know what is essential for tonight, cause we'll have to get the rest tomorrow...so what do you need us to take now?" Well I had no idea. I had packed in such a hurry that things were in various boxes throughout two residences now. I had them take my mini fridge and my futon, and my linens over to the new place. I started getting worried, as the reason for the move today was because they could not do it Wednesday because it is supposed to rain Tuesday and Wednesday. That got me wondering... how are they going to move me on a day when it is raining? When will I actually get moved? So getting frustrated I called the Chaplain to talk to her and see if she had any insight or way to relieve my stress.

She called the lady in charge of housing, and we learned that the people had misquoted her. She had asked them to move the "Non-Essential" but they moved the "Essentials". She understood my frustration. Yet there was nothing that could be done except to move everything back to my old room because there are women living on the hall where I am moving to who have not moved out yet. And they don't want to go to the bathroom and risk me seeing them in their nightgowns. It doesn't matter that the bathroom is a one-occupancy bathroom with a lock, or that I have no interest in them whatsoever. It's policy. And Policy is a demi-god apparently.

So here I sit now, in my old place on a beanbag chair. I have no idea when the rest of my stuff will be moved, as they do not move when it rains. I have decided that it is ok. I went over to my new place and unpacked all that was taken over there. It actually is working out over there--much more friendly and welcoming than this drab empty place.

Prayers:

Brandon - For healing and good spirits.

Bobbie - For healing and good spirits.

Wanda - For healing and good spirits.

George - For healing and good spirits.

Tommy - For healing and good spirits.

Joe - For curing of addictions.

Grandma Pease

Dear Jack,

For those who did not know, my grandma Pease died last week. Kris bought me a ticket to go to Ohio for the funeral. There was no funeral, but rather a memorial service, as the body was to be cremated but could not be cremated in time for the service.

The service was held at Holy Cross Charismatic Episcopal Church. I am not a fan of that church as they like to "praise God" by going into bouts of clapping and cheering "yeah God" and "Amen" and I find it ridiculous. Plus during nearly every reading, song, or prayer the priest would interrupt with "thank you Jesus!" and "yes, my Jesus!" so that I could hear him in the back of the church. I also found it odd that he tried to get the congregation "saved" during the funeral invoking the usual guilt trips that I find repulsive and counterproductive to true conversion to Christ. Aside from that he did have me read the 23rd Psalm as I had my seminarian collar on.

Albeit that the situation was for less than cheerful reasons and the timing bad, it was an enjoyable trip. I got to know my cousins a lot better. It is amazing how my first cousins on my mother's side are virtual strangers. Since then I've even had a decent conversation with my first cousin, once removed Mitch who is all of 14. I felt more connected to him and his sister Stephanie than I did to those of my "generation" because I was closer in age to them than my generation. But we did have a good chat all of us. We also had some odd pictures taken..."orbs" were in many shots on various cameras. The odd thing was that sometimes the cameras would pick up the same orb. And then there would be times where there were none. I figure at worst they are dust particles, but at best they are loved ones or angels in our midst. Many seemed to revolve around me.

I was also able to meet my brother Lee whom I've not seen in nearly 15 years if not longer. He seems rather grown up, being nearly 40. I still get the impression people think of me as a child including him. I guess being the youngest always does that. Perhapse thats why I got along with the kids better.

I also got to see my nephew Kris and his mother Terri. They seem to be doing well. Kris is learning guitar and wants to be in a band. He has a mohawk and some piercings, but is very gentle and friendly. They have two domesticated wolves which were gorgeous.

I stayed at my Grandma Hohne's house. It was good to see her and Grandpa Hohne. He seems to be doing well despite being on oxygen 24/7. I thought he looked healthy and seemed to have surprisingly good spirits. They are always a joy to be with.

On the flight home, we came in over NJ and Staten Island. I was able to see Michael's house from the air. Then we flew over the west end of Manhattan. I saw the entire island including the Seminary from the air. It was a great joy. Then we flew over Yonkers, and I wish I knew were the parishes were that I'll be working at, because I'm sure I could have seen them too. It was a beautiful flight.

Now I'm back in NYC and getting ready to go for a physical at St. Vincent's. I'm not looking forward to it, as I know it means pricks and blood drawn and tons of health questions. I'm not looking forward to it. Afterward I'm free all afternoon and will probably work on the Guide Book or play Sims 2 or Sim City 4 to just clear my mind.

Fidelis Fit

Dear Jack,

I miss the suburbs today. I miss my old doctor today. I am trying to get medically approved for CPE and volunteering, but it is literally taking forever. I hope I can do it. My insurance is Fidelis, and it has been a pain in the butt to schedule a simple physical. Indeed my primary doctor assigned me said she has no intention of meeting with me as she's not taking new patients (this after two weeks of waiting). I went to the Health Center at St. Vincents with an appointment, and they had all my info except the appointment when I got there. It is if someone is trying to make me go insane just getting a simple physical. Back home I could just walk into a doctor and poof... get the physical... and all is done. I so fear this not working out... it is so aggravating.

End of the Year

Dear Jack,

Well the end of the year has come and I've but one more paper to finish (Proving God). I know it seems like it should be an easy task, but my pal Soran says it's impossible, and I am tending to agree. Anyways, I thought this little link, sent via St. Justin of Philly would be helpful for my case Jesus Christ's License. Actually it may help me prove that some people are extremely Blessed Children of God (in the true Southern sense).

Ironically I think I am going to miss the security of daily classes. They were working for me... now I have nothing but to work on a guide book for Chelsea for the incoming Juniors, and to get ready for CPE. I also intend to have some quality time with Michael. And when not occupied with Love and Work, I hope to play Sims 2 or Sim City 4. They are addictive, and I enjoy playing them.

I finally was able to chat with my friend Rachel--I think there was a miscommunication and it was not on her part, but on Jeff's. She has been very cordial and is not anti-gay. Speaking of meeting old friends...I recently joined MySpace, Friendster, and Facebook. I am not sure which I like better... all have their perks and all have their problems. MySpace is the only one that allows me to have multiple colleges which is very nice and helpful with being wholly accurate with my life right now. Facebook has helped me get in touch with a lot of people from high school including my old pal JP I_____a who I went to Germany with when Joy and I went.

Well I guess I should finish the last paper and be 100% done. Cheers.

Amazing

Dear Jack,

I find it amazing how I apparently had so little friends in High School. Oddly I thought that hanging out with a crew of people in class and at school and yet another group at church, I'd have friends from that time in my life. Really I have Joy. That is it. I have tried to keep in touch with several from church, but tonight have been reminded that I really was an apostate to that crew. Jeff, Joe, and Rachel were the people I hung out with in church. Joe is the only one that is still an Episcopalian. Joe has started working on being a climbing instructor.

Jeff--I don't know much about his current life other than he is now attending a PCA church, will be doing Beach Project this summer, and likes a girl named Erin. Rachel was someone I had lost contact with who was an exceptional musician and usually tried to include me in the events and parties going on at the church. Recently I tried to contact her with her old SN, and she just seemed too busy to talk.

Well tonight Jeff confronted me about it (appearently they are really close cause aforementioned Erin is Rachel's roommate in college). He asked what it is exactly I want to talk to Rachel about, that she's concerned. And I was dumbfounded. I had no preconceived conversation in mind--just catching up and rekindling what I thought was an old friendship. Well she turns out to be too busy to chat with me. What the real issue is not that she's too busy, but she's afraid I will talk to her about my homosexuality. I know this as Jeff confronted me with that, becaue Jeff's parents and Rachel's parents (both groups which left the church), have kept too close an eye on their old congregation.

He was told that I "have really strained [my] father's relationship with [me] in choosing such a sinful lifestyle". Oddly enough this is not true. Even more oddly is that Jeff would know about my sexuality (or as he calls it "choice"), as he and his family had left the church before I let anyone else in the church know about it. He said he found out from a prayer group my Dad had been apart of...a prayer group that was supposed to be quiet about the prayers within--it doesn't matter when the prayer is about the sin of homosexuality.

It really agrivates me. I have no desire to be friends with my old friends I guess. They see me in the state they knew me in, and they add to it their own preconceived notions about what they think I am like now without even taking the time to ask about God's work in my life. Yet they are the ones harolded by the Conservative half of the Church as the "true Christians". I'm just miffed...time will heal this... and much prayer.

Sleeping Beauty

Dear Jack,

It is nearly 3 am, and I can't sleep. It is probably because I got up so late today. My love, Mike, is asleep in the other room on the couch. We are going to church together and it's too far from Brooklyn for him to get there by 9am. He's still over there sleeping I think, but I can't sleep...so it goes. I thought I'd go online and update anything to update.

Classes are over, and exams are next week. I wanted to do music for Rick's practice mass, but have an exam. Tuesday I go to Bellevue Hospital to get bloodwork and a full physical so I can be a chaplain there this summer--I HATE BLOODWORK--well just needles in general.

Anyways, I'm chatting with Jason online right now. He's in Indiana at a conference. Mike and I went to dinner with Josh, his bro tonight. It was pretty cool, although I do not suggest getting the chocolate mole chicken--YUCK...but Mike seemed to like it. I wish I had gotten chimichangas, but got mole verde instead which had a tasty tomatillo sauce, but little more to it.

Oh I want to give shout outs to Family Guy--I hope I can see the new episodes... especiall the one starting on Sunday!! It is odd... Mike is a Simpsons person, and I am a Family Guy person...and now we share our likes of both.

So I am looking forward to this summer. A lot has to do with the joy God has shown me in Mike. Everything just seems to work for God--Paul was so smart.

Well that's all for now

Joy--you should drop a line

Mike--you should drop a line when you read this

anyone else reading--let me know you read.

Fourth Week of Easter

Dear Jack,

Things are going well for me. I've had a great joy in being able to speak openly about my Love on this journal. I will admit that I have not been so diligent as my Love's brother had infiltrated my journal, and since my Love was not out to his family, it was unsafe. He is now out, and so I should take up this discipline again.

New stuff going on...I hang out with my Love all the time. He stays the night on Thursdays and Saturdays, and we attend church together. His church has become aware of his sexuality, and not much has come of it. He intends to write a letter dealing with the situation, and knows he will probably not be apart of that congregation. Luckily there are other congregations open to him.

I have financial assistance finally arriving from my church and family. I am very blessed that this is finally happening. I was very worried for a while that I would not have the ability to stay in school or in NYC for the summer. Luckily all is taken care of.

I will be beginning CPE on May 30 at Bellevue Hospital in NYC. It should prove to be a challenging blessing. We'll see how it goes.

This Friday will be the Schola Chorus concert here on the close. I hope some friends show up for it. I have also taken the initiative and invited my Love's Mom. It may be too fast for her, but I wanted to at least invite her, and start making steps for reconciliation. She already has given me two boxes of Matzah...not sure why, but I have found them tasty with peanut butter... a good healthy snack for which I am grateful.

Right now I am delaying writing some papers that I have due tomorrow. I just don't feel like writing about the priesthood based on John Chrysostom's thoughts. I probably will put the finished paper on the web here. You'll see how "riveting" it can be.

Well that is all for now. I love being with my Love, and I look forward to a rewarding life together.

So far So Good

Dear Jack,

Well it is nice to comment to you that I have a beloved. He is a great joy and blessing in my life. Such joy comes only from God. I look forward to a wonderful and fulfilling life with him. Thanks be to God.

Over Holy Week, Joy came for a visit, and that was a lot of fun. This Friday, my love and I met my grandmother at the train depot. She stayed with me until tonight. It was a very pleasant visit. She enjoyed meeting my beloved. And I know why...cause he's wonderful.

So the pope died yesterday. I have found myself most upset by the idolizing of him that I see going on. Even my Catholic grandmother disapproved of it. The archbishop of NYC even referred to him as "acting as Christ". I found that somewhat heretical, myself. I did attend Mass at St. Patrick's on Saturday with my grandmother though...even though I was not permitted to partake in communion. I find it odd that Jews have "equal access" to salvation according to the late John Paul, but us Episcopalian Christians are not allowed to partake of communion.

This afternoon I attended Beauty and the Beast with my grandmother before putting her on her bus to Ashtabula. Hopefully tonight I will hang out with my Lobe and with some friends. Although for some reason I'm feeling nauseous. I hope it passes. I miss my love and my friends.

Well that's all for now.

TV Series

Dear Jack,
Well I've not written in a while. I've had some distractions I guess. They were all good of course. No complaints there. Life is good all around. I am having a wonderful personal life, and wonderful classes, and feel close to God... so much joy.

So the title of this posting is TV Series. Now I could discuss how I have fallen for late night Disney (yes I know it's pathetic). Specifically I have fallen for Lilo & Stitch. One would think I am a little kid and not 23. I am fascinated by Pleakley and love the moral value that Lilo tends to learn. Ohana (SP?) means no one will be left behind--family. It is a good thing.

But that is not why this is called TV Series. See I was out on a date...at Cafeteria. I was looking at my menu, and all of a sudden I heard "CHAP!!!! CHAP CHAP CHAP!" -- from my date. My menu which had been over the candle, had caught fire. It was pretty embarrassing...something only that would happen on a tv sitcom...or my life.

Later I was talking with a friend who mentioned some romantic stuff going on in his life. He described it as being in a TV sitcom.

Even later that night (1 Am at least) I was called to help another friend, Jason. He had gone out on a date with a guy he was sweet on. Well said guy got drunk and was vomiting. I came over to help with the vomiting "date" and to help my friend relax. Two other friends showed up and we ended up heading to a bar. When he came back the said date was stuck in his bed sleeping. LOL. Upon my arrival home, I realized I had lost my money clip (having ridden in a taxi). It was all again like a tv series.

Life otherwise is great...and I can't complain. I've ben liking my recent dates too. So that makes life greater. I am just a joyous person.

OH I am going to be working at Belevue this summer. It will be a great experience as a chaplain. I can't wait. It is all good.

The Bishop

Dear Jack,

Well the Bishop is in town for the Board of Trustees meeting. I hope to meet with him and talk about a few personal things while he's here. I need his advice about the direction my life is heading.

Tonight the Diocese postulants here are going with him to get drinks. It should be a fun time.