Bad Day All Around.

Dear Jack,

Michael had a bad day today. I feel for him. I too haven't had a great day. My back has been hurting for a couple weeks, and today that coupled with a bad migraine. It has been pretty awful. I ended up staying home, unable to see clearly. I wish my insurance would kick in soon so I could go see a doctor about it all. Yetta keeps on saying she's going to submit the paperwork, but I'm going on 7+ months at the job, and still nothing. I am very frustrated with the whole situation. I notified her that I am going to look for another.

Our fridge has died, our dish washer has died, and tonight our DVD player has died. Something is just not going right. And I'm being underpaid so I can't even pay to get them fixed. I'm sorta depressed all around.

Queen

Dear Jack,

Michael's listening to Queen as he exercises. I didn't realize how much of Queen I actually knew. Today was the Out to Work fair put on by the Greenwich Village/Chelsea Chamber of Commerce. I do not know if there were a lot of opportunities or not for jobs. I know that there were definitely a lot of people trying to get jobs.

I've not been as active as I'd like with my blog, but unfortunately I've been so busy with work. It's a real bummer to be so active at a job...I calculated I did about 60 hours last week. It is almost too much.

I really like working at HWLC and KBA, but not so much with the Campaign. It's not my thing. I also see these all as temporary stops before I return to Seminary, and from time to time I can get a little depressed. Not depressed in a major way, but sort of like in a way like when you see something bad happen to someone on TV...like the little girl who drops her doll on the ground and it gets run over by a horse carriage.

Tomorrow should be fun. We're going to a dinner function in the evening and then to a party with some friends back in Astoria.

Speaking of friends, We ate with Elyse tonight. That was nice. It seems like it has been so long since we hung out. She has recently returned from San Francisco and is now looking at going to Berlin. Eventually, she'll be back in NYC. I can't wait.

Also we were able to hang out with John. at the fair which was also nice. He's a good guy, and a great designer. He's who Yetta uses for the campaign. He really is talented. I had a good dinner with him and a friend of his at Crate Bar last week. I really enjoy hanging out with him.

Vegas or Bust

Dear Jack,

Last week Michael and I traveled to Vegas with some friends. We left on Thursday early in the morning. We arrived first and checked in. Later that day Dirk, Joe, Stan, Lance, Matt C., Matt B., Bob, and Grant joined us. We stayed at the Luxor, overlooking the Sphinx.

We ate at several places including a bad Chinese buffet, several Mexican restaurants, and some other decent buffets.

Michael and I did little gambling, although under the influence of Stan, were able to make 200 bucks.

My dad and uncle also came to Vegas, but only coincidentally. We met up with them one night and hung out the next day. They took us to the old part of Vegas.

We visited a time-share promotion and got $100 for viewing it.

We got to know Stan, Lance, and Matt B. pretty well, and I'm glad for it. All in all this was a very good trip. Still I do not think that Vegas is the best place for me.

What really bothered me about Vegas was how straight it was. There was tons of boobs everywhere, and very little of anything suggesting that there are gay people, except for one gay hooker card...apparently the only gay hooker in Vegas. Matt B. made a collection of all the cards. LOL.

On Monday we celebrated Dirk's birthday at Isola at Treasure Island. It was a lot of fun. We left on Tuesday afternoon and came back to New York by midnight. I was upset that US Airways does not stock enough food for people to eat on their flights.

The Pines

Dear Jack,

This weekend Michael and I traveled to the Pines with Yetta for a campaign fundraiser.

The trip was interesting. I traveled up on Friday with Yetta, John, David, and Emily. Yetta was in a yellow Corvette, and we were in a Jetta. Yes a Jetta following Yetta. We stayed at Hotel Ciel, which wasn't as bad as the reviews seemed to say. The first night was mostly uneventful. John and I walked on the beach a while. I shared a bed with Yetta, and slept well for the most part.

The next day we went to the beach, and despite putting on Bert's Bees Sunscreen, am now sunburned.John  lost his glasses in the ocean...some lucky Mexican will have some Prada's wash up soon. After that we met Phyllis and traveled to the home of a friend of Yetta's named Dennis. We hung out there and played in the pool. The ladies departed for various events, and us boys went to change to do the Low Tea. Michael arrived around 6:40 with Chef Josie.John , Michael, and I went to dinner at Bay Bar and then walked with David and Chef Josie through the Meat Rack to Cherry Grove.  This was at night... Josie with a flashlight, the rest of us behind, and me leading a blind John.

I liked Cherry Grove in some ways better than the Pines...only in that it was more small townish... but some of the lesbians there were brutal, and I saw four fights break out there. Michael and David ended up at Ice Palace and J4hn and I had ice cream before joining them there. Josie joined the other lesbians from our crew and they all disappeared.

Later that night us Boys marched back to the Pines along the beach. I have the blisters to prove it. When we finally got back to the room, we ran into the lesbians. They decided to go skinny-dipping in the ocean. Michael nearly went--as in he wanted to go, and left to join them, but couldn't find his way to the beach. I went to find him to help him, and I ran into an orgy. It was the first time I saw one in real life. I wasn't expecting it to say the least, although in reality I wasn't SHOCKED--I mean it was Fire Island Pines.

I slept very little that night because of the sunburn and sore legs from the walk. Michael was out like a light. The next day was the event. It went pretty well...the food being one of the better things.

I was exhausted when I got home with Michael...and in pain. I took a Tylenol PM to get to sleep and to ease the pains in my legs.

REGARDLESS, I HAD FUN! :-) Mind you, I think I may have to lay off being around gay men for a while....

Secret Agent Man

Dear Jack,

Today I am in my head. I'm not sure why. As I came to work I was contemplative...almost too contemplative. I wish I could better put into words my thoughts, but when I try to, they sound so cliche and unmoving. I want to be profound and I am not.

There was a homeless man on the train the other day. He would say stuff like.

"I never met a woman who was not a spy. SECRET AGENT MAN!!!"
"Don't trust computers, the government spies with them. They say, put your information in a computer, well the government uses that information."
"Don't walk in daylight, because the satellites can see you. The government loves to see where you are." Stay away from bridges and tunnels too... they can be dangerous."

After a while the guy repeated himself. What was strange wasn't what he was saying. He reminded me of a professor almost, very well spoken. Had he not been homeless, his eccentricities would afford him to be a writer.

I wonder if I could have ended that way...spouting off nonsense that has just a little bit of truth to it.

O'Neil Departs

Dear Jack,

Today I was in a good mood for the most part. I'm hopeful about a possible part-time job. It will be nice if it goes through... just have to make up my mind about it. There are a few logistics about it.

Had a decent day at work. It was John's (our summer intern at KBA), farewell shindig. Blakes, Gina, Greg, and I went with him to Comfort Diner. It was a lot of fun. I needed that time to relax and regroup. It was really nice to relax with the work crew. Katsumi should have been there.

Headache

Dear Jack,

The weekend was pretty nice. We went to Jason and Paul's house for a party on Saturday evening. We had a lot of fun, and got to hang out with some really nice people.

This morning I woke up with a migraine...well to be honest I went to bed with one. It is no fair, as I have not had any caffeine or alcohol. I had a very hard time sleeping, and my neck and back were all tensed up. I skipped church as a result, which is sort of sad because this was the first Sunday we'd meet the rector, as she's been on vacation.

Proud of my Dad

Dear Jack,

I was thinking about my dad today. You know he is really a remarkable man, and I wanted to the world to know it.

He was born in Conneaut in the fifties. His family moved to Los Angeles when he was very young. His father was a drunk and very distant. My grandmother ended up divorcing him. In the process of all this my dad and uncle moved a lot, and even spent some time in a children's home until my grandmother was able to take them back to Ohio and her family. I have heard him speak about his childhood, and he has very little happy to say. He does mention happiness when he moved to Ohio and moved in with his maternal grandparents. My great-grandparents owned a truck-stop in North Kingsville, and he and my uncle spent a good portion of their time there.

When my dad spoke of his father at that time, he did not have much nice to say. It would seem that my grandpa Day was abusive in addition to being a drunk and in LA.

My dad married a girl young, and divorced her. He also was in the Navy for some time. He moved around the US, and does not speak much about this time of his life with me. I gather he was wilder then. I know he had an alcohol problem, as he mentions that as the reason he does not drink anymore.

He is an inspiration with regards to this, he gave up alcohol, and smoking with sheer willpower. I have heard of few that do stuff like that so determinedly.

He married my mom, who had three children already. Taking on the responsibility of three children is a lot. They've been together since 1980. 28 years! They have their times where they fight, but who doesn't. It seems as time has gone on, that has decreased.

I grew up enveloped in his strong work ethic. He worked hard and constantly. I remember when I was young, I asked him if he was going to take a day off for his birthday, and he said he didn't take days off. This is true. Growing up, he has always worked often on Saturdays.

He loves music. I often wonder if we were of a higher class family if he would not have been a professional musician of classical guitar. He knows how to play Guitar, Bass, stand up Bass, Drums, Harmonica, Piano, and can tune all of the strings. He teaches Guitar to various people as it is, and I wish he could focus on that more.

He and my mom are active in Cursillo, and he plays Christian folk music with various churches in the Atlanta area. He's very good at it too.

I know when I came out, it was hard on him. Yet he did not push away, and in the fullness of time has come to be very supportive and loving of not only me, but Michael.

Here is to my Dad!

[title of post]

Dear Jack,

Well thanks to our friend John, we were treated to a free show on Broadway, [title of show]. Going into it, I thought it would be stupid. No offense to the writers/performers. Gratefully, I was wrong. The show was pretty durn good. It was a cute story for sure. I only cried once, in a nostalgic song. I highly recommend it.

I do have my doubts that it will go far outside of New York or the original cast. I hope and wish them luck. Who knows, with as many hoops as they have gone over...it may be the next all-time hit.

Avon Cape Codware

Dear Jack,

Work went well today. Most of my Christmas Ornaments came in that I ordered on Ebay. I was very happy. Additionally, I have started gathering Avon Cape Cod Red dinnerware. It reminds me of my childhood. I figure it is the best thing to collect, because I imagine Mom will one day give me the pieces she has, which are not the whole set. Thus I would be adding to a set, rather than duplicating a set. I think I will also talk to her about pieces of other Avon memorabilia that she has that may have broken, as I can replace them.

Today I contacted some of the clergy from St. Luke's. We hope to meet up with them soon. I think I can plainly say we have found the place we needed to. We are excited when we talk about church and going. After we discuss what is needed for membership switching, we will talk to our friends at St. Bart's and let them know. I imagine we will probably be doing this all in the up-coming fall.

Proud of our Female Bishops

Dear Jack,

Well we visited St. Luke's again. It was really nice. A lot of the issues that Michael and I find important they find important... like Jesus Christ and the Trinity. It is such a relief to realize we have possibly found a real place to call home.

I thought I'd post a picture of the pride of the Anglican Communion, or what should be the pride of the Anglican Communion. It's a shame it's only the current bishops, and not the retired ones too. That would be a sweet picture.

It reminds me of the poster of all the Black bishops, and there have been a lot more of them in The Episcopal Church then all the female bishops in the communion.

Last night I had a sleepless night. I had all kinds of anxious thoughts going through my head. I really couldn't get some of the thoughts out of my head. I thought about how things could have been different in College with Daniel W. and Dr. Stokes, and about how I could have done things differently at General and fought to stay better, and I thought about what I could have done to hinder Svetlana. I thought about my current situation and how I am underpaid. All in all it was not a great night sleeping.

I am so glad that today went well. Fr. Hugh's sermon on Roman's was very appropriate for my thoughts. I felt God saying that I was in the right place and to not worry.

Big Gay Sketch Show

Dear Jack,

Watching Big Gay Sketch Show with M3k2...pretty funny. My favorite has been their rendition of All in the Family. In it, Ethel is a man and Archie is upset because a straight couple has moved in next door. It is great.

Tomorrow we're visiting St. Luke in the Fields. We plan on going with some in the congregation to brunch afterwords. We may just be changing there, but we're not sure. We are also thinking of staying at St. Bart's. It just doesn't seem like it is the best fit though. We're praying about it all.

Jackson Heights

Dear Jack,

Had a marvelous evening tonight. Mike and I joined the OUT Jackson Heights crew for dinner at La Paquena on Roosevelt. Met two newcomers Lewis and Ali. They were very friendly. Ali had just moved here from DC. Afterward, we all went to the new gay bar across from where Lydia's used to be. I don't recall the name, but it is "memories" in Spanish or something like that. People told me it was going to be a dump, but in all honesty I found that I liked it best. It has the most room to move by far, and I had Mike get me a Shirley Temple and they gave me a handful of cherries. And since I love cherries, it won me over.

Later that night we stopped by our friend John's place for a visit. He has a gorgeous place and is quite the host. Martha Stewart would be proud.

We just got home, and am now headed home.

Spark of Creation

Dear Jack,

Well I've updated my blog with some older posts and a few personal pride pieces. They seemed a lot better when I was younger than they do now. Now they seem all stupid and sentimental. I even saw some uber over compensation on trying to hide my homosexuality...I don't think I did a good job with it. Regardless, they are from my past and I hope to post more and show a progression of who I was to who I am.

This has all been nostalgic to me, and has me wanting to write more, or maybe compose more. I just don't seem to have the time to do the thing I want to get done. Although this week has been nice, with Yetta afraid I will get her sick, so I have been able to leave on time from work.

We'll here's to creativity and the spark of it.

Pink Eyes vs Brown Eyes

Dear Jack,

Well Blakes, Jon, and Katsumi have this club for Pink Eye at work. Today I was initiated in it. It sucks. I itch and am watery and pink. I was out today from work, and will be again tomorrow, most likely. I'm hoping there are some things I can do from home. I was bored most of the day today. So is Life.