Dear Jack,
Today we went to Paige H.’s lake house with a group of people from Saint Simon’s. We mostly chatted and then dined to a feast of beef ribs, chicken, salads, beans, and such. Paige and Bob B. know about my sexuality, and it was nice to get some positive support from them. Earlier this week I went with Father Newell to do some errands and see about a CD-Rom drive for my father, as it seems lightning has taken his out. I know he knows about me because my mother told me she told him. He doesn’t know I know he knows though. It was sweet to see how he was trying to show me he supported me. I do not know, however why I never told him about me, or that I know he knows about me. I am not sure what I’m afraid of.
Tomorrow I am doing the anthem at church again. This time it is “Be Not Afraid”. Paige again sang. Dad has to go to Saint Matt’s to do their folk mass. I know I won’t miss him. He really pissed me off today. He didn’t go with us to Paige’s because he planned on doing Street Net Ministries. However, when we got home, he was sitting on the couch watching country music. This was strange as he doesn’t like country music. He then bit our heads off for daring to ask him why he didn’t go on Street Net. I am sick of this. He always treats me and especially Mom like shit. Furthermore this perpetuates itself in her not feeling good about herself even more. She suffers from depression. He does too and he doesn’t recognize his own, and refuses to investigate hers. He makes me angry enough to not want to come home. I feel much better when I’m not around him and I don’t think it’s all tied into his disdain for homosexuality.
Monday I leave for PC. I’m a little nervous, and have a lot of packing to do. I hope I maintain this journal whilst I’m there. It is a relief to do these entries.
Today we went to Paige H.’s lake house with a group of people from Saint Simon’s. We mostly chatted and then dined to a feast of beef ribs, chicken, salads, beans, and such. Paige and Bob B. know about my sexuality, and it was nice to get some positive support from them. Earlier this week I went with Father Newell to do some errands and see about a CD-Rom drive for my father, as it seems lightning has taken his out. I know he knows about me because my mother told me she told him. He doesn’t know I know he knows though. It was sweet to see how he was trying to show me he supported me. I do not know, however why I never told him about me, or that I know he knows about me. I am not sure what I’m afraid of.
Tomorrow I am doing the anthem at church again. This time it is “Be Not Afraid”. Paige again sang. Dad has to go to Saint Matt’s to do their folk mass. I know I won’t miss him. He really pissed me off today. He didn’t go with us to Paige’s because he planned on doing Street Net Ministries. However, when we got home, he was sitting on the couch watching country music. This was strange as he doesn’t like country music. He then bit our heads off for daring to ask him why he didn’t go on Street Net. I am sick of this. He always treats me and especially Mom like shit. Furthermore this perpetuates itself in her not feeling good about herself even more. She suffers from depression. He does too and he doesn’t recognize his own, and refuses to investigate hers. He makes me angry enough to not want to come home. I feel much better when I’m not around him and I don’t think it’s all tied into his disdain for homosexuality.
Monday I leave for PC. I’m a little nervous, and have a lot of packing to do. I hope I maintain this journal whilst I’m there. It is a relief to do these entries.
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